Dwelling In Unity
“Behold, how good it is for brethren to dwell in unity.” Psalm 133:1
This girl!! She is 15 years my junior and closer to my oldest son’s age than my own yet she is a friend to both of us. She is young with littles. I am old with 2 adults and 2 that are not so little. She has 4 sister. I have none. She is a working mom. I am only just starting my career but still without a job. We are both in completely different places in our lives yet we have a special bond. We both love our savior and are “of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit and intent on one purpose.” Ephesians 2:2. She has strengths and a work ethic I never knew at her age and an authenticity I admire and long to posses. Her desire to grow in the truth and her faithfulness in pursuing our God is an example to me. We both admit we are far from perfect, struggle in many areas and are candid with each other as we share life’s ups and downs. We dwell together in unity. Isn’t that the way it should be among believers?
Why then is there so much partiality within the church? Partiality, bias, favor of one person compared with another; favoritism. I know I have bit and pieces within me that need to be burned away. After all, I really do favor my dear friend in this picture. We all gravitate toward our friends, towards the familiar, where we feel comfortable and can easily converse. Of course, it is natural to do so. But I fear that many keep too close a circle because of an unwillingness to get past our comfort zones and expand our circle in order to be united in spirit and intent on one purpose. Few people want to be uncomfortable and make hard moves to those they don’t really know, or even like. Not that we should be best friends with everyone or even share the deepest of feelings with all people, but there is a unity, a vulnerability in the Lord, that we should be fighting for within the body of Christ. How often do we dismiss or disregard someone because we don’t think they have something to give to us? Maybe we think others are awkward, have issues we don’t want to deal with, have said something in the past that completely turned us off and we look down on them for it (I am extra guilty of this one), or maybe, we just simply don’t relate to them because they are in a different stage of life.
Have you ever looked past someone as if you did’t see them because you did’t want to talk them or greet them, even avoided eye contact with a person you knew but didn’t want to be with? Maybe you haven’t. But maybe, you have. Why do some of us do this? Why is it so difficult to get past our own discomfort to reach out to new people, even people we know, to greet them, to get to know someone just a little better, to extend grace to those we are put off by? Building relationships is hard work and inevitably will get messy. I wonder if sometimes we just don’t want to deal with the mess. Perhaps, we want perfectly package relationships that are easy, comfortable, and void of dealing with people’s issues. Sometimes even when we know someone is suffering or has a troubling issue, we are completely silent to the matter. This is the farthest thing from unity. “Too often we are silent when we know of someone’s trouble. Silence is the same as turning away.” - Edward T. Welch. Unfortunately, I distinctly remember being at a celebration only months after Jesse’s accident and one person asked me how everything was going. Everyone else avoided me and barely made eye contact with me. It was so strange, even hurtful. I felt like I had invaded a “members only” gathering. My whole family felt out of place and ended up leaving early.
“Too often we are silent when we know of someone’s trouble. Silence is the same as turning away.” - Edward. T. Welch
Oh that we would dig deep into ourselves and reflect upon our hearts to see where we can be less partial and initiate broader fellowship to pursue a deeper unity. It will take time and effort, even prayer. But we have the power of the Holy Spirit dwelling in us. He unites us no matter what awkwardness or differences we need to overcome. Let us cultivate new friendships that foster genuine fellowship so that we might be of the “same mind, maintain the same love, united in spirit and intent on one purpose.”. How might you reach out to someone new this week?
Caring for One Another -8 Ways to Cultivate Meaningful Relationships by Edward T. Welch is a very short and easy read that packs a powerful punch on how to build meaningful relationships within the body of Christ.
